I know it’s my blog but I feel the need to ask after just disappearing without an explanation for so long.
The second part of 2011 was lousy. No doubt the worst year I have had in my adult life.
Life is hard.
Yet, most of us choose to keep living and to stay hopeful. I’ve decided 2012 is going to be better.
My youngest sister is about to have a baby girl. I worry about her a lot. She lives far away from me and I can’t be with her right now and it hurts. She called 2 hours ago to say labour is starting. Probably why I am coming here to post after so long. I’m nervous and anxious for her and wish nothing more than I could be there holding her hand. I don't know what to do with all of this nervous energy.
Last week I made this for my new precious niece.
Crummy unsharp photo taken in this dark room just now.
I’ve posted about both of these patterns in the past.
I crocheted the booties on what would have been my 2nd youngest sister’s 25th birthday (I have 4 sisters). This new baby girl will be named after her. Sitting here on that day I hoped it would lessen the heavy feeling in my chest.
My sister passed away this past summer.
My biggest hope is that this new baby girl who will have her name, will also bring some healing to those most hurting.
The little vintage buttons on them came from my grandmother in this box.
She passed away in the fall.
Although hard, it was easier to understand her passing. She was 90. She was the only other person in my life that talked sewing with me. Last week I donated some of the things she has sent me over the years that I will never use. One of the things was the moo moo. I can’t help but wonder where it will end up.
If you have ever had someone close to you pass away maybe you will have thought this way too. You wonder where they are exactly, what they are doing. If they are happy, if they are looking down on us so to speak. I’ve lost a stepfather who was a dad to me and I loved more than anything. Two years ago I lost my real father who later in life became a best friend. There have been times I have felt them so close and haven’t doubted they are still with me.
I haven’t felt my sister.
I’m comforted tonight knowing exactly where she is. I know without a doubt she is with my youngest sister surrounding her with love as this new baby girl joins this world.
No promises to how often I will be around, but I’ll try to pop in more often.
I'm sorry to hear that last year was such a bad one for you. And I'm sorry to hear about the death of your sister.
ReplyDeleteThis year will be better, starting with the birth of a new little girl.
I have missed your posts, but have been one of those people that only read and never comment. I promised to be better about that this year. So here I am! I hope to see you soon again.
// Linda
Oh wow, I just visited your site yesterday and was wondering about you. I'm so sorry for your loss and your terrible year. I wish this new baby a smooth transition into the world and hope she brings joy and strength to all those around her.
ReplyDeleteWonderful to hear from you...welcome back?!
Christine, I'm really sorry to hear what a rough year it was for you in 2011. I can't imagine losing my sister. Welcome back, I'm thinking of you as you welcome your niece and enjoy being an Aunty to the precious little life that's on it's way.
ReplyDeleteI have missed your posts and have wondered about you. I am so sorry about your loss, I had no idea. Thinking about you and I hope your sister's labour goes smoothly and healthy.
ReplyDeleteWhat an awful year you have had, I feel so bad for you! Having some experience with loss of loved ones myself, I just wanted to send you some warm thoughts from a stranger here over the internet.. hope you will have better times soon!! Good luck with the new baby and new life being born into the family, that is wonderful news, and the set you have made for her is adorable!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness :( I am so sorry for your losses. I also can't imagine loosing my sister. It must be so hard for you to be so far away from your other sisters at this time. That sweet baby will bring comfort and peace to everyone, I'm sure of it.
ReplyDeleteA big fat bear hug to you.
i am so sorry that you lost your sister. after having lost a brother at a young age, i can empathize with what you are going through. i hope that you will come back to this space and share your thoughts and creations with us.
ReplyDeleteI feel for you having a hard year. this too has been the hardest year of my life.... it is getting better just barely. I hope you share things because you want to I don't want you to be overwhelmed because you feel you have too.
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself and your babies!
I am sorry you had a hard year. I lost an Uncle (34 yr) who was like my brother as we were 7 years apart and raised in the same house. It has been 5 yrs and I still have his jeanjacket but I think often that I should donate it.
ReplyDeleteI was just here yesterday refreshing my memory on envelope cushions (trying my best to avoid zippers) It would be a treat to see you around more. I hope your sister has a good birth and that you get to hold the sweet squashy baby soon.
I am so sorry to hear about your losses. :( Hopefully, 2012 will be a much better year for you and your family! A sweet new baby often helps with that. Take care of yourself!
ReplyDelete{{{hugs}}}
ReplyDeleteMy sister and father both passed away when I was a kid so I can empathize with what you're going through.
What a blessing that little one is going to be!
Oh I am so so sorry for your loss. But what a wonderful gift that will be entering all your lives! And yep, you know thats where your sister is now, watching over your sis and almost here new baby! I lost my mother some years ago, and I feel her presence so often. It is so comforting.
ReplyDeleteThe little hat and booties are so sweet! I find in times of distress, pain, depression, it helps to keep the fingers busy. I hope working on those helped you some! Take Care, be sure to announce the arrival!
I am so sorry for your loss. We had a horrible year too, I said good riddance to 2011! But the days get easier, still tears, hurts. We didnt loose any family members to death but for other reasons.I cant imagine how you must feel..... I find that hole often and grieve our happily ever afters. I am glad you are still creating, I find it helps me. warmly~
ReplyDeleteI am very sorry for the loss of your sister, I can only imagine how difficult that must be. I hope your whole family gains healing with this new precious life about to be born. I think she will look adorable in the hat and booties.
ReplyDeleteI have missed your posts so much. I was hoping that you hadn't been posting because you were doing wonderful, fun things with your beautiful family. I'm so sorry that you have had such a hard year, and I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister and your grandmother.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your new niece (when she arrives). I hope she helps your family heal.
I really hope 2012 is better for you! XOXO from Texas.
So nice to have another post, but I was sad to hear the circumstances of 2011. I can only hope that your lovely memories of your sister and grandmother help sustain you through this difficult time. I believe our loved ones never truly leave us, but it's still so hard. Take care.
ReplyDeleteHi Christine,
ReplyDeleteAgain, let me say how sorry I am for your loss. I pray that this year will bring you many blessings and happiness. It was nice to see a post from you and the hat a booties are adorable. Post when YOU want to and we will all be here to read.
Love Ya!
Charity
I hope your niece and sister are both ok. all the hapiness and healt for the little baby and her parents!
ReplyDeleteI do know what is like to loose something dear, I'll hope the sun allways shine in 2012 for you and your family!!!
Its vere very original and nice!!!
ReplyDeleteMaría
So agree! 2011 was a terrible year...not my worst, but a close 2nd. Congrats on your new niece.
ReplyDeleteA big big hug to you, hope 2012 brings you renewed hope and joy.
ReplyDeleteNo wonder you quit blogging! I'm so sorry for your loss. And hope all goes well with your new niece. I'll be glad to see you back!
ReplyDeleteHugs to you! Praying you will feel peace and healing. So sorry for your recent losses. It's good to see you back :)
ReplyDeleteSo glad you've checked in here! Now don't feel obligated to continue to post, no pressure!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for all the sorrow and the bad year. We all have them, you are not alone. In fact, when I had a really crummy time, you and your blog helped me out of it. The best thing about being at the bottom is that there's only one way to go, and that is up.
Wishing you answered prayers and peace and strength.
Just stumbled upon your blog and am already a huge fan-- 2012 WILL be better. Being an adult... well.. it sucks sometimes. But the good days are great.
ReplyDeleteHi Christine,
ReplyDeleteI hope you can feel the love and blessings I'm sending you straight from my heart. I'm so sorry you had a terrible year, I wondered how you were now and then, and it's awful to hear you had a heartbreaking year.
Pop in whenever you need to! We will always be here for happy and not so happy posts! Whether you post your always stellar projects or just need to share. We are here.
Adorable baby gifts for your niece! The loafers AND the galoshes in your other post are the sweetest!
Take care!
Christine,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss of your sister and other precious family members. Please know that I am thinking of you and have thought of you often these last few months.
Congratulations on your baby niece. She is so lucky to have you for an Auntie.
I am so happy you have checked in! I've really missed you and your beautiful blog.
First of all, it is so nice to hear from you again. I just checked back today to see if you had, by chance, posted. And you have. :)
ReplyDeleteSecond, I am so sorry to hear of your losses. One loss is hard, 2 losses is.. well.. so incredibly hard. Your sister was so young. I only put this second because I wanted to say more than just a little blurb. I thought I would tell you that I am not religious. I was not raised religious. But I have always had the 'what if' in me though.
My mother-in-law passed away many years ago. My husband and I were only dating at the time. She thought we were crazy because we both loved the rain. After she died, it rained for a month solid. Huge amounts of rain. Coincidence? Maybe. When we got married in Hawaii, we had a beautiful sunny Hawaiian day. We said our vows and right after (and I mean RIGHT after) it started to downpour!! We signed our papers in the rain, took some pictures and the rain stopped. The rest of our trip was sunny (the whole 2 weeks of it). I don't know exactly what I believe, but it felt like she was there. It felt like the rain on our wedding day was her blessing and her way of being with us.
Your sister will always be with you. Although you can't see her and hug her, she is there. I know she is.
What a wonderful blessing to have a new baby in your family. Congratulations! I'm sure that she will bring a lot of joy into your life (and I hope you manage to get a visit in soon!).
May this year be a wonderful year filled with nothing but good times and happy memories. :)
I'm glad to see you back - I've missed this blog too.
ReplyDeleteHi, I'm not really a regular but I pop by every now and again. Really sorry for your losses. Congratulations on the birth of your new niece. Take care wishing you and your family a better year.x
ReplyDelete