I know it’s my blog but I feel the need to ask after just disappearing without an explanation for so long.
The second part of 2011 was lousy. No doubt the worst year I have had in my adult life.
Life is hard.
Yet, most of us choose to keep living and to stay hopeful. I’ve decided 2012 is going to be better.
My youngest sister is about to have a baby girl. I worry about her a lot. She lives far away from me and I can’t be with her right now and it hurts. She called 2 hours ago to say labour is starting. Probably why I am coming here to post after so long. I’m nervous and anxious for her and wish nothing more than I could be there holding her hand. I don't know what to do with all of this nervous energy.
Last week I made this for my new precious niece.
Crummy unsharp photo taken in this dark room just now.
I’ve posted about both of these patterns in the past.
I crocheted the booties on what would have been my 2nd youngest sister’s 25th birthday (I have 4 sisters). This new baby girl will be named after her. Sitting here on that day I hoped it would lessen the heavy feeling in my chest.
My sister passed away this past summer.
My biggest hope is that this new baby girl who will have her name, will also bring some healing to those most hurting.
The little vintage buttons on them came from my grandmother in this box.
She passed away in the fall.
Although hard, it was easier to understand her passing. She was 90. She was the only other person in my life that talked sewing with me. Last week I donated some of the things she has sent me over the years that I will never use. One of the things was the moo moo. I can’t help but wonder where it will end up.
If you have ever had someone close to you pass away maybe you will have thought this way too. You wonder where they are exactly, what they are doing. If they are happy, if they are looking down on us so to speak. I’ve lost a stepfather who was a dad to me and I loved more than anything. Two years ago I lost my real father who later in life became a best friend. There have been times I have felt them so close and haven’t doubted they are still with me.
I haven’t felt my sister.
I’m comforted tonight knowing exactly where she is. I know without a doubt she is with my youngest sister surrounding her with love as this new baby girl joins this world.
No promises to how often I will be around, but I’ll try to pop in more often.